What if Life Didn't Have To Feel So Hard?

It can be exhausting when we unwittingly fall into the trap of believing we have to manage everything.

Every outcome. Every person. Every decision. Every possible disaster that hasn’t happened yet but has taken up residence in the spare room of our mind, unpacked a suitcase, and started asking what’s for tea. For many of us, this becomes so normal we don’t even question it. We call it being responsible. Capable. Organised. On top of things. Dig a little deeper and what often shows up is somthing far less like responsibility and much more like the survival safety pattern we run labelled 'control'.

One of the biggest shifts I’ve experienced in my own life has been learning the difference between trying to force life to happen by me, and allowing life to move through me.

When we live in the state of By Me, we tend to believe it is all down to us. We push through, work hard, manage multiple tasks at once, plan, organise, overthink and try to make sure nothing goes wrong. (Hands up if you have ever written a to do list, forgotten something then write it on the list afterwards just so you can tick it off? Come on, own up - I see you!) We look capable on the outside, but inside it can feel like we are permanently braced. And actually, in that state, your nervouse system is. Yes you are productive, yes you get stuff done, and yes, its successful nine times out of ten. But ask yourself: at what cost?

It’s exhausting. It frequently leads to burnout and breakdown and ultimately causes ill health, damages relationships, and the ability to bounce back.

Life in Through Me is different. It doesn’t mean being passive, sitting back waiting for the universe to manifest a lottery win while we knit egg cosies and drink wine. We still need to take action. We still need to make decisions. We still need to show up fully. But we do so from a different place. Less force, more alignment. Less control, more trust. The bends in the river of life are still there to test us, but we navigate them with more ease.

This is not about positive thinking, fiddling while Rome burns.  It is deeply practical. Because when we are not using all our energy trying to control everything, we have more available for clarity, creativity, courage and actual movement.

People around us often notice. They say things like, “You seem calmer,” or, “How are you handling this so differently?” or, occasionally, “Are you alright?” because apparently inner peace can look suspicious when people are used to us operating like a one-woman emergency response unit.

The real work is not abandoning responsibility. It is releasing the belief that responsibility means having to do everything in the state of 'By Me'.

And that, my friends, is when EVERYTHING changes.

Making It Intentional

This week, notice where you are using force rather than aligning with your power. 

When you spot it, pause and ask:

What would I do next if I trusted life was working with me, I can't get it wrong and I don't have anything to prove ?

When we live in the state of Life Through Me, we begin to ask different questions.

• “How do I control this?” becomes “What is this hear to show me?”
• “How do I make everything happen the way I wan't it to?” becomes “What is the next aligned step and what outcome is in my best interest, even if I can't see it yet?”
• “What if this goes wrong?” becomes “What if I trust that no matter what happens, I can't get it wrong?”

Take notice of what happens when you start to ask differernt questions.

What else is possible?

Moving from By Me to Through Me is exactly the kind of shift we make inside The Breakthrough Sessions.

If you’re tired of holding everything together on the outside while inwardly wondering where you disappeared to, The Breakthrough Sessions are designed to help you come back to yourself with clarity, calm and a more powerful sense of who you are becoming. Click the link to find out more.