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Why Staying Stuck Hurts More Than Moving Forward

Indecision is one of the most paralyzing places to be. It’s like sailing on a leaky boat between two islands—one representing your current reality, Pain Island, and the other where you want to go, Pleasure Island. (Thanks to Melinda Cohan for this brilliant metaphor!) The longer you hesitate, the harder the wind blows, making the crossing feel treacherous and impossible. Let me ask you: How long have you been standing on that rickety bridge, afraid to move forward?

Why do we find it so hard to decide, even when the stakes are high?

1. Fear of the Unknown
   Our brains are designed to prioritize safety, which means staying in familiar territory often feels safer than stepping into the unknown—even when that "safety" comes with dissatisfaction and pain. Relax - this is not just you - this is proven neuroscience and its how we are all wired. This was pretty useful when we were cavepeople and a wrong decision could mean death! Not so much nowadays.

2. Perfectionism
   Many of us hesitate because we want to make the “right” decision and we are terrified of getting it wrong. Again, there is a whole heap of biological reasons why this is the case and they can go way back to our early experiences in life and the fear of not being good enough. But what if there isn’t a perfect answer? What if the best decision is simply moving forward and learning as we go? What if its just ok to be a red hot mess and make mistakes. There have been thousands of self-help books written on this subject and many of them are best sellers for a reason!

3. Overwhelm
   Big decisions often feel overwhelming, especially when we try to predict every possible outcome. Our brains naturally want to assess risks and rewards, but when there are too many variables to consider, it can trigger a stress response. We fall into a loop of over-analysis, weighing the same options over and over without making progress.
   This is quite simply the most torturous place to be and can result in lack of sleep and ultimately ill health. Oh and it can really tick your friends off who are so patient but getting tired of your constant soul searching conversations. (Thank you my tribe- I know you have been there! I love you!) They desperately want you to see the light and just do it! But hey - this is not their decision to make and its not them that has to live with the consequences right?

4. Lack of Trust in Ourselves
   At the heart of indecision is often a lack of confidence. We doubt our ability to handle the consequences of our choice, so we delay taking action. This hesitation is rooted in self-doubt—an internal voice that questions, “What if I’m not capable? What if I fail? What if this choice leads to regret?”  Ironically, this lack of trust keeps us in a state of limbo, where no progress is possible, even though moving forward—imperfectly—is often the only way to build confidence and clarity. Have you ever stopped to think why you distrust yourself so much? In the beautiful and powerful poem by Marianne Williamson, she contemplates that 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure'. Wow. Imagine being powerful beyond measure? Do you know what? You already are. You maybe just don't know it yet.

The Real Costs of Indecision

• You waste precious time and energy and you don't get any younger.
• Opportunities pass you by and you miss out on realising your greatest potential.
• You stay stuck in a cycle of frustration and self-doubt.
• High levels of stress build up in your body, and life can become intolerable, for you and for those closest to you.

Can We Get Decisions Wrong?

For me, the jury is still out on this—I personally don’t believe there is such a thing as a “wrong” decision. We can only make decisions based on the information we have at the time, and none of us have a crystal ball to predict the future. This fear can hold us back for years from discovering our true potential. I speak from real-life experience. The fear I felt when leaving my 35-year career to start my own business probably cost me about five years of growth and opportunity.

The truth is, even if a decision doesn’t lead to the outcome we hoped for, it teaches us the lessons we need to grow into our best selves. On the other side of decision lie freedom, clarity, progress and the rest of your precious, amazing, but ultimately finite life. The act of deciding isn’t about guaranteeing the perfect outcome—it’s about trusting yourself to handle whatever comes next. 

To anyone facing a big decision, I salute you! I know its not easy. The worst part, I promise, is the indecision. End the torture of indecision and move forward with your life. Don't waste another second on indecision. Imagine how much lighter you’ll feel once the decision is made. Whatever you decide, stick or switch, decide it then live it.  Your life is waiting for you on the other side of the decision. Don’t let it wait any longer. Whatever you decide, you’re one step closer to freedom and clarity. You’ve got this!