Why Everything Feels So Urgent

When I was little, my mum used to say to me, “Paula, you want everything done yesterday.” This week, 50 years later, I found myself lapsing back into running the same pattern: wanting everything done and finished. Not ‘in progress’. Completed. 

Home renovations have been dragging on for weeks. Not one single job is complete, and the disruption has started to seep into how I experience everything else in my life. I found myself wanting to fast-forward to the point where I feel back in control. 'I'll feel better when everything is done and I can relax and enjoy my home again'.

I recognised the old pattern creeping back in to unsettle me. It is ancient, familiar and still, 50 years later, capable of sending me directly into the overwhelm and agitation I am so keen to avoid. What fascinates me is that this pattern was already firmly established when I was a young child—so clearly that my mother could recognise and name it, even though I had no understanding of it myself. 

It got me thinking. A couple of weeks ago, I was speaking and writing about how capable, successful women can easily end up in burnout. The events this week found me returning to those thoughts. When our outer world feels unstable or unpredictable, the brain naturally starts looking for ways to restore a sense of control. After a while, this can become overwhelming. Instead of seeing a collection of separate tasks, our minds start running everything together, and suddenly it is not just the unfinished renovations we can’t control, it's our whole life. It is the wardrobe clearout, the paperwork, the essay deadline, the bills, the birthday party to organise and every single decision we have been postponing comes flooding in. Enter overwhelm, procrastination and self-doubt. All because an old, largely invisible pattern is still running quietly in the background, like a computer operating system, shaping how we think, feel and react. 

We instinctively want to sort out the visible things. We believe that if we can control the external stuff, the internal discomfort will go away. And sometimes it does—for a while.

So what was I hoping would change inside me once everything outside me was finally finished?

That is the more important question and it is exactly why I created the Breakthrough Sessions. Because unless we tackle it at the roots, when the next difficult, uncertain or disruptive event comes along, the old software starts running again. We return to the same thoughts, feelings and behaviours, creating a boom-and-bust experience of life: periods when everything feels calm and under control, followed by periods of overwhelm when it all seems to unravel again. 

This operating system is particularly common among capable and successful women because competence becomes the strategy. We organise, manage, fix and keep going. It works remarkably well, until it does not. It doesn't have to be this way. We do not need another list. We need to understand why everything feels so urgent. Until we understand what is driving the urgency, why uncertainty feels so difficult for us to tolerate and what we fear would happen if we stopped trying to control everything, nothing changes. That is the work we do in the Breakthrough Sessions: four focused sessions with one clear purpose—to understand what is really keeping you stuck, and to create a better way forward that allows you to feel calmer, clearer and more powerful, even when life feels uncertain or beyond your control. 

I am passionate about helping women to live the joyful, fulfilling lives they were born to live, rather than continuing in lives shaped by old beliefs and patterns that no longer serve them and hold them back. The women I work with often describe an immediate sense of relief and optimism. When they finally understand what has been happening beneath the surface, they are in a powerful position to make lasting changes. They feel more like themselves again, life feels calmer and more purposeful, and the future begins to feel exciting rather than overwhelming. 

I currently have space for two women to begin the Breakthrough Sessions in August. Together, we’ll  uncover what is really keeping you stuck, change the patterns running beneath the surface and open the door to greater freedom, confidence, joy and possibility.

When the little girl who wanted everything done yesterday came to visit me this week, I gave her a hug and listened to what she had to say. I thanked her for reminding me of the pattern, reassured her that I no longer need it to keep me safe, and gently waved her off. Then I returned to the chaos with a calmer mind and a sense of liberation. This too shall pass. I do not have to fix everything myself, and I certainly do not have to fix it all this red-hot minute.

PS: I just noticed that I’m currently sipping coffee from a mug that says ‘Feel Good Now’. 'Nuff said.

Making It Intentional

This week, notice where you are creating unnecessary urgency for yourself that leads to discomfort or stress.

When everything starts to feel overwhelming, stop and ask: What genuinely needs my attention now—and what can remain unfinished without everything falling apart?

Choose one thing. Let the rest wait. And notice that the world doesn't fall apart because stuff didn't get done.