Go Back To What You Know Works

Sweary alert. I’m a bit cross today.

I had a mini existential crisis this week. Yet another one. Full moon energy, anyone? I’ve been back in the world of overwhelm and it was showing up at home, in my self-talk, and big time in my business. The business overwhelm in particular really hit me hard, causing me sleepless nights and anxiety-filled wake-ups. I couldn’t work out why. I just knew I was overthinking, holding back and feeling shit-scared.

I belong to a business mastermind. They felt my energy and immediately called me out on it. Completely out of my comfort zone, I was reluctantly put in the hot seat. They didn't give me the answers. They asked me killer questions. And the solution presented itself: go back to what works, go back to being you.

So, what was going on in my smart but very over-thinky, lovely brain that had derailed me? The self-talk went something like this: ‘You help midlife women who are at a major crossroads in life to get clarity and self-belief back. You witness the surge of power they get from saying enough is enough and taking decisive action. You know the huge relief they feel once they start working with someone who gets it. And you absolutely do get it because you have been exactly where they are and supposedly come out the other side with blazing success. But look at you. You’re struggling right now. How can you possibly claim to be an authority in something if you are not a perfect Zen master in it yourself? That’s pretty hypocritical, don't you think?’ And there it was. Nothing – and I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G – is going to wake up those nasty little imposter syndrome cells faster than the realisation that you are asking women to put their trust in you when you have stopped trusting in yourself.

And that’s exactly what had happened. I realised I was doing things again that I had worked so hard to stop. And a nasty voice inside was saying, ‘How can you offer lasting transformation as an outcome of working with you if your own transformation is not solid?… Perhaps you should drop the pretence and just admit you are not cut out for this?’

Two important lessons came from this wobble. One: lasting transformation does NOT mean you’ll never fall off the bike again. It means you’ll fall off less often, hurt yourself less and get back on quicker!

Two: you can't put a price on the power of really great coaching to help you unlock the unseen stuff that is getting in your way so you can get back on the damned bike.

Anyone who has felt the sheer relief of being helped to see what they couldn’t see for themselves will know exactly what I mean. Awareness is the first step towards becoming your true self again. I knew it wasn't about having it all worked out. It wasn't about being an example of perfection. It wasn’t about only taking two steps forward and never any back. I deeply know this stuff. Yet I’d just let my old enemy, Imposter Syndrome, back in, and he tried to tell me otherwise.

I didn't transform my life by beating myself up every time I slipped up. I transformed my life when I got angry enough to say, ‘I’m done with this!’ You gotta get mad with the stuff you don’t want anymore. So here goes. ‘WTAF, Imposter Syndrome? Screw you. I kick ass at what I do, and now I’m kicking your ass out of here!’

Oooh that felt good. Here’s to falling off the bike, getting the hell back on it again and going back to what works.

Make It Personal

Get mad this week. Get mad at what you're done with.

Write it down. Scribble on it. Take a picture of it and screw it up. Scream in a pillow. I don't care. You do you.

Just get mad enough to take action and do something about it.

Or not. Stay there and bitch about it but don't change a single thing while you wait for hell to freeze over.

(Said with the toughest of love.)

What Next?

If you have experienced good coaching, you already know that it's a powerful tool to rapidly shift what you just can't seem to make progress in alone, no matter how hard you try.

In the last 2 years I have worked with personal coaches in transfomational development, weight loss, burnout, sales, marketing, and business strategy, to name a few. I don't need to be persuaded about the power of investing in coaching.

Not everyone is like me, I get that. I'm not here to convince anyone to do something they are not ready for. 

If you are curious, and you think coaching could help but you don't know where to start or who to trust, I have a really easy way in for you.

Don't be fooled though - just because its an easy way in does not mean it's not hugely powerful. For some of my clients, a single power hour is the catalyst they need to change the one thing that makes everything else either easier or no longer necessary.

In your current experience of Health, Wealth, Relationships, or Meaning, which one needs most attention? 

You choose.

One focus. One call. One step.