Are you looking at the hole or the whole?

This week, a very large bill left my bank account. I mean eye-wateringly large.

I knew it was coming. I had planned for it. There was no surprise in the timing or the amount. Yet, when I woke up and saw it there in black and white, I felt the shock of it. My attention went straight to the hole it had left behind.

For a few moments, I looked only at what was gone. Then I stopped and looked again.

It suddenly occurred to me that the apparent hole represented something far bigger than a reduced bank balance. What looked on the surface like depletion was actually evidence of success. It represented the conclusion of two years of inner work. Two years of decisions, courage, mindset mastery and trust. Two years of changing the way I think about money, security, abundance and what I believe is possible for me.

Two years ago, I made the decision to leave a career I had been in for 35 years and begin building a completely different life.

It was a leap of faith.

One of the biggest barriers was financial. How could I possibly make it work? With a large mortgage, a car loan, huge credit card debt and an even bigger secured loan, two dependent children and no partner to help, how could I leave the security of a salary, start my own business and create a future that looked nothing like the one I had spent decades building?

I was stuck. Trapped in a reality I didn't want, busy trying to create a solution from the same level of thinking that got me to where I was in the first place. Then I began to ask a better question: instead of asking, “How could I ever possibly do this?” I began asking, “How can I make this work?”

That might sound like a subtle distinction. It was not. The first question assumed it was impossible. The second assumed there was a way and invited me to find it. The goal was set. Over the last two years, I have made decisions, taken risks, changed my relationship with wealth and abundance and repeatedly challenged the belief that security could only come from staying where I was. And now? For the first time in my adult life, I am debt-free. 

The old fear-based version of me would have focused entirely on the loss. She would have seen less money, less safety and less certainty. She might have regretted spending it, even though the payment was necessary and planned.  For a few moments, that was just what I did, because old patterns can kick back in when we are not paying attention, particularly if we have not fully removed them from our identity.  The new me sees this as evidence of what happens when we move away from fear based thinking. The money leaving my account this week has not disappeared. It has completed phase of deep transformation. 

The woman I am now sees the bigger picture. I had already created the means to make that payment by facing what I might once have avoided and finally breaking free from a long-standing scarcity mindset. 

The magnitude of that is enormous. If I hadn't changed my thinking two years ago, I would still be that person, paralysed by my circumstances, feeling as if I had no choice. This is exactly the kind of shift we create in the Breakthrough Sessions. Not empty positive thinking, but learning to recognise the old patterns shaping your interpretation of what is happening, and the choices you make as a result.

This is one of the uncomfortable truths about transformation: progress does not always look like success.

Sometimes it looks like letting go. Sometimes it looks like a bank balance falling, a relationship ending, a role being left behind or a version of you no longer fitting. When we judge the event in isolation, it can look frightening. We see the cost, the gap or the apparent loss. But when we widen the lens and take a broader view, we see we are looking at the tangible result of years of internal change. 

That was my reframe of success and self-leadership this week. Not, “Look at what I have lost.” But, “Look at what I have made possible.”

When you look at the 'whole', not the 'hole', and the meaning you give to events changes, everything changes.

The choices you make today create the reality you live in tomorrow. The version of me today goes back to the version of me two years ago and thanks her from the bottom of my heart for trusting that everything is always working out for her, that she can't get it wrong and she can never run out of abundance. 

Making It Intentional

When something feels like a loss this week, pause before deciding what it means.

Ask yourself:

What might this moment represent when I look at the whole journey, rather than just the hole it has left?

Your Next Step

If you are ready to stop viewing your life through the lens of old fears, scarcity or self-doubt, and begin creating the reality you want rather than remaining stuck in the one you have outgrown, the Breakthrough Sessions will help you recognise the patterns influencing your thoughts, choices and decisions, so you can move forward with greater clarity, confidence and self-trust.

I have two spaces available for the next eight-week programme, beginning in August, at the current investment of £850. The price will increase to £1,000 in September, so if you have been considering working with me, there has never been a better time to take that next step.